pass the tissues

You know those days when everything comes together perfectly? Days when you wake up, the sun is shining, birds are singing, you’ve slept the entire night and are perfectly refreshed?

Lucky you. I haven’t seen a day like that in, oh, months. This is because both Hudson and I are sick and we both have been off and on, mostly on, for over a month. Yes, I’m whining. But you would whine too if you were living in my house and you were the only fully non-functioning, yet fully functioning person around.

First of all, any time he gets any stuffiness in his nose, he's are dying. And once the stuffiness morphs into a full-fledged disease—oh please. According to him nobody—and by nobody, I mean me—has ever felt as awful as he does.

The truth is, though, I did sign up for this mom gig, not to mention the whole “in sickness and in health” thing. So I’m stuck being the nurse, whether I like it or not. Whether I want to be the one being nursed instead or not. Let's face it when does that ever happen for us moms?

Look, he doesn't sleep at night when he's sick. What the heck is that all about? When I’m sick, all I want to do is sleep. Not to toot my own horn, but I’m the most considerate sick person on the planet. Hudson or Chloe, for that matter, not so much. They toss. They turn. They need water. They need their Vick’s vapor stuff. They need their heads or backs rubbed. They need tissues. They need juice. They need cough syrup. I’m telling you, it does not end. At 3 AM, they still need something, while the only thing I need is sleep.

And in the morning they finally do sleep. I don’t know why. All I know is that after a long night of babysitting my sick guy, he's sleeping while I am trying desperately to get enough coffee in me to function. And let me just say here and now, there is not enough espresso on the planet to do that.

But I have to stay awake because I have to go out for supplies. After all, during the night we’ve run out of tissues, Vick’s, juice and cough syrup.

So I go to the store, where my brain mutters the same things over and over, “need tissues, Vick’s, juice and cough syrup.” And somehow I get through the store, and get home, only to find that I don’t have cough syrup. Or tissues. Or Vick’s. In fact, all I have is a tub of yogurt, a frozen package of peas and the biggest 5 shot espresso that Starbucks can make.”

Obviously, my brain had me purchase the essentials to keep me alive.

So I run back to the store, because even I don’t know why I bought a frozen package of peas. And when I come back, I hear Hudson saying, “Tucker is chewing up another pair of your underwear Mommy.”

Pass the tissues, will you?